The Courage to Quit
by Kat Koppett
After devoting countless hours for over two thirds of her life to ballet, my daughter gave up dancing cold turkey as she headed off to college a couple of years ago. She didn’t have to: more than one school offered her significant dance scholarships. But as much as she had loved her time with Northeast Ballet, she knew in her heart that she was not destined to become a professional ballerina, and other goals and priorities ascended.
In Western culture, perhaps especially in the U.S. quitting gets a bad rap. We celebrate “grit”. We spread stories of tenacity and commitment. There is nothing positive in the term “quitter”. But often, as in Lia’s case with dance, it is only when we let go of certain endeavors or goals that can open ourselves to more fulfilling and productive ones.
In her book, Quit, former pro-poker player Annie Duke explores the value of “folding” more often and more quickly. She encourages us to reexamine our decisions, risk-assessments and choices to embrace the opportunities that releasing things and changing course provide.
What does this have to do with improv? In order to buck our prejudice for sticking with things, we must employ the following skills and mindsets that improvisation exercises:
Get comfortable with change. What used to be useful or the right path a minute ago, may no longer be “serving the scene”. Stepping into something new can often bring up discomfort as we feel less in control and less certain of what will come next.
Embrace “failure”! Celebrate the learning that comes from any experience and don’t get hooked by shame or self-criticism when things don’t work out: If we are not able to risk and fail, we will never be able to try anything new - or let go of unproductive endeavors
Expand your performance range. By thinking about our behavior as “performance choices” rather than personality characteristics, we allow ourselves to adapt and grow. Rather than reifying our sense of ourselves, we can make new and different choices when our habitual ways of being - whether that’s our professional role, our communication styles or our life structure - no longer serve us.
Lia is now the Editor-in-Chief of her University’s newspaper, a school tour guide, and a double-major in History and Economics, spending the summer at the London School of Economics. Her world is vastly richer and more fulfilling than if she has stayed a less-optimal course due to escalation of commitment or some narrow view of her options.
What might you need to release? Where might quitting be the most courageous and productive path?